I'm not really using Piczo much any more, I just don't have anything happening in my life that I feel the need to blog about really, which is gutting. :-(

Lots of love,

Charlotte xxxxxxx

I had an absolute HORRIBLE day at school on Friday. And I hope nothing ever ever ever like that happens again. I had a Music lesson after break (3rd lesson) and I decided to ask my teacher if I should play my piece all loud like it says on the paper, all alter it to make it different and maybe score extra marks for changing it and making it sound different to the original. For some reason my teacher thought I wanted to practise and that lesson, and sent me to the grand piano. Now, don't get me wrong, I love grand pianos. And if anyone reading this plays piano, I'm sure you'd know that the second you play another piano, it feels different to the one you're used to? Unless that's just me. Anyway, I just waited for her to come back in the class, and she did. She came and sat next to me and said "play it then". Oh, and let me clarify one thing. My teacher has the ability to make a room stone cold when she enters, and you feel as though you're walking on eggshells, she makes people nervous. So I started playing, and I know that the timing was out. But I couldn't help it, she made me feel nervous, and she was literally breathing down my neck. I hadn't even got to the end of the page and she said "STOP, RIGHT THERE" and then took over, and played the piece perfectly. It was coming up the end of the lesson, so most people went and starting packing their things. Only my teacher thought it was necessary to give me a lecture in front of the whole class, and the  people who were outside. She started yelling at me saying things like "Is there any point whatsoever in you doing the exam in March? You'll never get that perfect in 8 weeks, you might as well give up now and start a new piece." I just stared at the floor, I knew I was going to cry. But then she shouted at me to look at her, so I did. Then more started coming into class, and that's when she said "the ONLY thing you can do when it comes to Music, is theory. I'd forget your predicted B if I was you, and just settle for a C." Then the bell rang, and she told me to go into the Music office, which meant I'd be late for my next lesson. She sat me down and started telling me that my confidence is at an "all time low". Is that really surprising though? No. Then she handed me the piece I'll be playing, on a keyboard. So now I feel stupid because everyone else is either singing, or actually playing a proper instrument. She told me to come in at lunch on that day, so I did. I went to my next lesson, I was about 10 minutes late? I didn't realise I had black all over my eyes from crying. So I knocked on the door and went to say "Sorry, I was in Music" but then that teacher said "and where have you been?" but then she noticed I was crying so sent my friend to take me to the toilets. At the end of the lesson when I came back she said she wants a word with me on Wednesday at lunch, and I don't know what about. \|: I didn't mean to cry, I did try and hold it in. But my teacher made me feel so small in front of everyone that I couldn't handle it. She made me feel and made it look like I'm not good enough. She also said to me that "I have to be hard on you because maybe then you'll understand." 

But I think everythings okay now, although she hasn't said sorry. I have parents evening tomorrow, my parents don't know what happened either. 

I hope everyone on Piczo is okay! :-DD

Speak soon,

Charlotte xxxxxxx

I had an English Literature exam last week, and a Welsh Language one on Thursday. They were the final exams too, and I don't think I've done that well in them either. D: And I reallyyyy don't like the idea of resitting them. On Thursday I went with my mum after school to try some prom dresses on. I'm still none the wiser on if I like them, if they look right, or even if I actually want to go to prom. I tried four on, the 3rd was definitely a no no. The last one was nice, but because it was in ivory, it looked more like a wedding dress than anything. But you can have it in any colour, but I don't know what colour I want. Most people are going to be in pink, purple, blue etc.. I want a different colour. ;o I'm going back there on Tuesday to decide, so I'll  probably try them on again. xD I don't know if I feel comfortable in them either, because they're tight fitted ones, and I never thought I'd go for one of those, so I keep thinking I look fat, and everyone says I don't, but idk. D: The back on the ivory on was gorgeous though! It had all buttons on it, but like a criss cross tie as well. :') 

I have absolutely no idea what I want to do when I leave school. And I'm leaving in May.. :\\\| I'm torn between staying at my school for another 2 years for sixth form, or going to college. Except there's good and bad points for both. If I stay at school, I'll still be surrounded by people I dislike, and have to carry on with education in Welsh, but if I go to college I won't know anyone, and I might not be used to education in English. Although, I could probably make friends easily but. ;o I really want to be a Lawyer, but I think it's a lot of work, and could be hard. I could do a 3 year Law course at College, but it's a full time course, so I wouldn't be able to do A-Levels like I want to. Because knowing me, I wouldn't like the course and then I'd have nothing else to fall back on/do. I'd do Law at A-Level, but my mums friend who's a Barrister said that they prefer it if you don't do it at A-Level. I haven't seen many things I want to do at A-Level either a part from, Modern History, English Literature (unless I've failed the exam), Art and design (but I haven't done it as GCSE so I don't think they'd let me), Politics or Business. I can do all them in school, or in College. STRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, to add to my week, my ex.. remember the whole distance relationship I did? Yeah, him. Well he inboxed me on Facebook asking to talk, so we did.. and he asked if we could "go back" to the way were, being good friends. But I honestly don't think I'm ready to, I can't just automatically switch off all the thoughts of what he did, I wish I could, but I can't. So because I said I didn't know, he started getting all "ok fine." with me, which made me feel worse. So in the end, I did it back and said "you know what, i'm going to sleep. I'm ill, tired and have an exam first thing." and he just put "okay." I honestly don't know how he expects me to forget everything with the click of a finger. He said that he misses me, and the fact that I always made him laugh etc. But, he seems totally fine without me. He has tons of other girl friends who are probably just like me, and he's probably just as close to them or even closer to them than he was with me. I just generally don't know what I'm supposed to do. He's apologised for "hurting me" and can't "say sorry enough", but despite that, I still don't think he's aware of how much he actually did hurt me, and what he did. I know I sound stupid, but I just want a big, long, meaningful apology. I guess that's just too much to ask.

One more thing, can you all please please check out my best friends blog! She doesn't have many followers, but she should because her blogs is awesome and she's beautiful! So please follow her. :-) <3

Okay, this is a longer post than what I thought, so I'll stop!
Speak soon,

Charlotte xxxxx

Charlotte xxxxxxxx

Last night I got really annoyed, some guy added me on Facebook a few days ago, he lives where I do and goes to college here, we have over 30 friends in common so that's probably why he added me. I don't know him, and I've never met him. I accepted him anyway. He started talking to me and it was okay. I had a look at his profile, as you do. And I noticed that he has a girlfriend. He's 17. Anyway, he started talking to me every day, and started flirting, no don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with flirting obviously, but when you have a girlfriend? I think there is. He started asking me if I was single, so I said yeah, and asked if he was, even though it's pretty obvious that he isn't. He said "I am and I'm not, it's a weird relationship". And then started telling me how him and his girlfriend are more like best friends than boyfriend and girlfriend, and how because of that he doesn't take the relationship seriously. I started getting annoyed, because I know more than anyone what it's like to put your whole trust into a boy, only for something like that to happen, and it's horrible. So I started saying things to him like "I bet your girlfriend takes it seriously, does she know that you don't?" or "how do you think she'd feel if she knew what you've been saying to me?" He asked if I wanted to meet up, because I seem nice, and he said that he finds me "really attractive" and stuff, urrgh. 

Lots of love,

Charlotte xxxxxx